Are you STRUNG UP?

Not all deliverance is spiritual, most aren’t. Freedom is got from information, that’s why Malcolm X said:

that if you want something to be hidden from a man, put it in a book.

Jesus said:

And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” -John 8:32 (NKJV)

I pray this article, gleaning from my personal experiences, sets the reader free.

I see a lot of people under manipulation in their work place, marriage, ministry, school and relationships. They are held down because of fear, threats and blackmail. Many are under the fear of the spiritual consequences or diabolical fallout. Fear of losing their jobs or source of income or what have you.

This is definitely not of God.

One rule of thumb is fear. satan is the agent of fear, anywhere there’s fear, fright and trepidation; the Almighty God is absent - Chukwudum Obi

Oh my, was I a victim of fear and the environment of dread.

Why man is unique from all of God’s creation is man’s freedom to use his/her free will. Anyone who tries to control another human being for selfish reasons is diabolic, even God won’t manipulate your will.

I am writing about this because I found myself also becoming a manipulator at some point...

Lord have mercy!

This was a shock to me because it goes against everything I stand for. I realised that what you behold and experience long enough you become and execute. It creeps in on you unawares.

Having gone through personal therapy (Romans 12:2) to detoxify myself of this diabolical trait I believe it is my responsibility to expose it having been a victim.

I also use this medium to apologise to everyone who might have felt used through or as a consequence of my actions or inactions.

Forgive me 🙏🏽.

If the article touches you, please like, share and comment.

Are you a Puppet?

The title of today’s post is wholly from the image used for the post, the article’s image says it all.

I think my earliest, most vivid impression on my mind of a puppet show is from the movie Sound of Music. The Von Trapp kids performed a yodel musical puppet show under the direction of their governess, Maria. The puppets’ movements were 100% dictated by the puppeteer or puppet master, they didn’t have a mind of their own. In fact, without the master on the strings, they appear dead and lifeless. But once they are STRUNG UP onto the master’s strings they appear to come ‘alive’. This kind of puppet is called a Marionette.

The marionettist is usually hidden (out of sight of the audience) but he/she voices the puppet, controls his/her movement. (Note this, I will come back to it)

A puppet according to Wikipedia is an object, often resembling a human, animal or mythical figure, that is animated or manipulated by a person called a puppeteer.

The key word in the definition is manipulation.

Who is a Manipulator?

Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary defines it as:

a person who is skilful at influencing people or situations in order to get what they want

From that definition, the word influence is used. As we know, influence is very good, but manipulation is using influence for personal benefit.

A manipulator doesn’t have your good in mind when he/she unleashes their tentacles on you. They sweet talk you, talk down others who they  view as an opposition to controlling you, praise you, bully you, lie to you just to get you to do something that will benefit them solely.

The next definition does justice to that.

Wikipedia defines Psychological manipulation as a type of social influence that aims to change the behaviour or perception of others through indirect, deceptive, or underhanded tactics. By advancing the interests of the manipulator, often at another's expense, such methods could be considered exploitative and devious.

Psychology Today defines Psychological manipulation as the exercise of undue influence through mental distortion and emotional exploitation, with the intention to seize power, control, benefits and/or privileges at the victim’s expense.

Let’s discuss an obvious case of manipulation in the bible - Delilah.

She manipulated Samson using emotional blackmail to seek out his source of strength. This did not end well for Samson because he yielded to it and lost everything. While she gained wealth from the five kings of the Philistine nations that was promised her (Judges 16:18).

Another is Jezebel, Jacob and satan who disguises Himself as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14) just to mention a few.

I am going to give you another example from the bible, some have never seen this as manipulation. I didn’t see it myself till I asked the Teacher to show me a subtle example of manipulation in the bible and He showed this to me.

Luke 10:39-41 (NKJV)

And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.”

And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things.

Martha, the sister of Lazarus and Mary, (probably their eldest sister), used the age old manipulation tool of emotional blackmail on Jesus. But did you notice that it didn’t work on Him? Unlike Samson, He didn’t succumb to her manipulation, He gently deflected her antics.

Spiritual Manipulation

Spiritual manipulation is to negotiate, control, or influence for one’s own advantage.

Spiritual manipulation is a technique used by some abusive churches and cults to control individuals and acquire gain, all the while giving the impression that their teachings are based on the Bible. (Read more here: https://www.gotquestions.org/spiritual-manipulation.html)

Sadly this is common in religious setting and the singular most effective control mechanisms used by cults and false groups. I have also seen genuine gatherings that also uses it to control people.

It got me thinking, does it mean you cannot be effective in ministry without manipulation & control?

Not until I changed environment and studied other ministries, I found out that it is possible to succeed in ministry without control. In fact, these ministries are highly successful without this tool of manipulation.

The bible warns us to be weary of deceivers and not fall to their deception. No one will blame you if you have been a victim in the past but after reading this, you will be armed with sufficient information to identify them as well as know when you are being manipulated.

Will you choose to be a Samson or Jesus.

How to Identify a Manipulator

1. They are classic liars. They are skilled in misinformation and twisting the truth and selling half truths. They manipulate facts and even blame you any fallout. This happened to me severally that I got confused at a point. Why am I being blamed for something I don’t know anything of? This was my question but the manipulation was heavy that I couldn’t utter a word.

2. I studied a case of a skilful manipulator who WILL NOT do anything for you if there’s NOTHING for THEM TO GAIN from you. It is so embedded in their personality that they once they said it to my face. But as usual, I was under fear and dread that I didn’t utter a word.

3. That is the hallmark of a manipulator, they don’t leave empty, they can’t suffer loss if you gain something from them.

4. They always use silent treatment on you because they presume they have power over you. They ignore your calls, text, mails etc. to gain some sort of leverage over you.

5. Whenever they sense they don’t have a strong grip on you, they will drop some ‘leftovers’ for you to still hang on there till they don’t have use for you anymore.

6. They make sure you are dependent on them, they will never let you have access to things so you will still need them.

7. They make you believe that they are the reason and source of every good thing that happens to you, subtly replacing God in your life.

8. They go behind you to sabotage you and your efforts, paint you black in the eyes of the boss and the decision maker.

9. Feigning ignorance is classic of a manipulator. They pretend they don’t know your needs and desires and close an eye to it, in the guise they are training you. Parents at times use this in their children as a training technique. I also see it in ministry too. But I am yet to see an example of Jesus doing that. Our job as trainers is to teach, tutor, train not play dumb or ignore the suffering of the people under us.

10. They run down everyone close to you and paint them ‘black’. They assassinate the character of everyone they believe has influence over you so they can be the only one that ‘influences’ you. I have said this before and I am saying it again “You will never look good making someone else look bad”. This is usually a tactics of a Manipulator.

11. They cut you off from family and friends. Because they want to be the singular point of control on you.

12. They will send you on a guilt trip or make you feel bad about your own feelings, thoughts and needs.

13. They make you feel worthless and doubt yourself. They make you feel like without them, you won’t succeed.

14. In christian circles, they make you doubt your leading from the Holy Spirit not by directly opposing it (in fact they teach ‘how to be led by the spirit’). While in essence they prefer that’s you are led by themselves.

15. They pressure you into a decision by giving you a short time to think about the decision.

16. They often throw shade (negative humour) at you to deflate you.

17. They will never praise you publicly unless they need something from you in return.

18. They shout and raise their voice at you with intense body language to intimidate you.

19. They will attribute every bad and negative thing that happens to those that don’t agree or oppose them with them as Karma - payback for your opposition or disagreement.

20. They run down every contrary view that doesn’t support their ideology or philosophy.

21. They bully and issue threats to you. In spiritual circles they use spiritual repercussions to intimidate you.

22. Personal attacks and criticisms are their modus operandi.

23. They make empty promises they don’t intend to fulfil.

24. They throw you a bone or two once in a while to keep you on the string.

25. When all fails, they fall back on their joker - emotional blackmail.

26. The underpinning drive of a Manipulator is SELF. It is all about him/her and what they stand to gain. In so doing, they take advantage of people around them.For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people - Romans 16:18 (NIV)

God warns about manipulation and a manipulator.

Leviticus 25:17 (NIV)

Do not take advantage of each other, but fear your God. I am the LORD your God.

1 Thessalonians 4:6 (NIV)

and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before.

Look around you, work, home, business, church, friends; do you have manipulators around you?

Are you a victim of grand scale manipulation?

Beyond the information here in this post, the Holy Spirit on our inside will always speak to you because He seeks to direct you and wants you to trust His direction.

Be Woke!

💗

See you at the next one!